Generations of Mothering

My Mother's Children

My mother tells me they have a children’s day in Korea. I remind her how I used to always ask her why there is a mother’s day and a father’s day but never a children’s day. And her response was always the same: “Everyday is children’s day”. I didn’t like that answer.

Today, I learned that she would ask the same question to her mother and she responded with the same disappointing answer. When the time comes, I guess Mary Deane will just have to be disappointed too.

Mary Deane only has one mother but generations of mothering. I have thought a lot about this, wondering why I do the things I do while going about our day-to-day routine. Some things I deliberately do because my mother did them, like singing Here Comes the Sandman and Good Morning Merry Sunshine. Other things, I’ve discovered, just naturally unfold because that was the way my childhood happened, like early bedtimes even while the sun is still seeping into our house, or the importance of reading good books, or the loud smooches I give on her soft welcoming cheeks.

I’m beginning to understand why it is that when she’s happy, I’m happy. I’m beginning to understand my body is not mine to choose and realize it never was a self belonging. I’m beginning to understand that by my yawning heart I enfold this little spirit and body making the divine more apparent. I’m beginning to understand the willingness to sacrifice but also to keep that gentle balance. And truly, I’m beginning to understand my mother. Thank you mom. Thank you.

Happy Mother's Day, I love you!