I sat in the hospital room with Hyrum post-surgery. My mind was reeling with everything that was happening with our family. I said a private prayer while Hyrum dozed in my numb arms: "What do you want me to learn?" I waited. I bowed my head in Hyrum's direction. And I listened. It was then that I felt his chest widen then relax, widen then relax, widen then relax. My eyes opened quickly as I realized, oddly, for the first time what had just happened. I listened: clear, long breaths, produced by the very lungs that were just cut, reduced, and put back together. I joined him and for what felt like the first time, really breathed; both of us widening then relaxing our lungs. Nothing short of a miracle. That was my witness and that was my lesson--God is in everything:
Hyrum's lungs expanding to fill the newly emptied space--that is God.
The ability to love someone so fiercely that you feel like you can hardly breathe and
your heart can't sink any further--that is God.
your heart can't sink any further--that is God.
A wordless hand grip from Brendon because he understands--that is God.
Stripping worries one by painful one and submitting them to Him--that is God.
A surgeon's capable hands producing miracles--that is God.
A mother to mother me and my children --that is God.
Others offering their faith and praying for us by our names--that is God.
Women who instantly drop their life ongoings to be our rescuers--that is God.
Having someone to love Clark in my absence--that is God.
Knowing how quickly a sacred life can slip away and what a gift it is to simply be and to
simply experience--that is God.
simply experience--that is God.
To be utterly washed over in panic and then restored back to peace--that is God, even if has to happen over and over.
A nurse providing two cots to rest our 30-hours-without-sleep-bodies in a private room while our baby was in surgery--that is God.
The chorus of birds singing at dawn as we rushed to the hospital--that is God.
Putting my daughter's life completely in His hands--that is God.
Cleaning up blood with ease--that is God.
Knowing that bodily harm and pain can bring spiritual strength and joy--that is God.
A patient baby after a major operation--that is God.
Watching Brendon strengthen his testimony and learning about his sacred lessons learned--that is God.
Being able to see the lessons during the trial and not just after--that is God.
Time flying by when it should have been the exact opposite--that is God.
Talking things out over and over with my mother--that is God.
A five year old wise enough to listen to her body--that is God.
MD surviving so much blood loss--that is God.
Being together as a family and knowing that we are eternal no matter how long our time together is here on earth--that is God.
Feeling the Savior's love--that is God.
The miracle of turning over one's will to Him because of the Atonement--that is God.
These are my pearls of great price. The price was great. And it was painful. But I wouldn't change anything. God is there. And I would give everything and go through anything to know Him. He is in the storm and in the break-through rays of sun.
13 comments:
Beautifully written and wholeheartedly felt - so touching and poignant. You, Ann, are a pearl of great price and teach me every time I read your writing. Thank you for sharing the wisdom you learn.
You teach me always. ❤️ Mom
Ann, I am blessed to know and be a part of your life and family - that is God.
Absolutely beautiful Ann. Thank you.
Thank you for the look into your heart. There is so much to see and feel from it. Thank you for strengthening me!
Ann- you are inspiring! Thank you for sharing these pearls. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. Your final sentence reminds me of the man who defended coming to Salt Lake in the Martin handcart company "the price we paid to become acquainted with god was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful I was blessed to come in the Martin handcart company." You have such foresight in learning your lessons well. God bless you and your family
Ann, I taught you in Sunday school years ago, but you have been the onevto teach me. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is humbling to have a glimpse into your faith-filled world. You have our prayers and love. Angela (and Ryan) Schill
You made me cry.
love,
Dad
I cried too. Not from sorrow, but from inspiration.
David
i don´t know you, i follow Katy´s blog since 2008 i think, then Jordan´s and then all of you Knudsen on instagram. I love your parents !!
i just wanted to tell you how much i admire you, how much worried i was for your babies ( i have 3 boys) and that i prayed, even when i don´t know where my faith is ( i lost it a long time ago...) but i prayed for you.
i don´t know what else to say, but i wanted you to know that people that don´t know you are with you, sending you love and wishing the best for your family.
excuse my english, i hope is understandable
greetings from spain
Marcela
Dear Ann,
Thanks for sharing with us. You and your family are amazing! We have been praying for you, crying with you, and rooting for you. I'm glad things are going better and for the amazing things you've learned. Love, The Hoopers
Well written witness.
Rooting for you from CO!
So glad we purchased one of your dads Mary Deane stars, so we remember to pray for your sweet girl. It hangs in my little girls room.
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